I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize