Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
