what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize