I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
