well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
