we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
