i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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