FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
