How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
