bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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