Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
