I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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