dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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