we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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