noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When are your genitals available?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
