Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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