bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my being single is dangerous.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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