At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
