How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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