Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
