I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
being pregnant is like rehab
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
