Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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