Porn is love you can see.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
