I bet he comes in French.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
