is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
