no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
