Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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