I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Congratulations! We have a period
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