Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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