i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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