is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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