I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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