Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
where am i from again
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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