I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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