I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
