I am spending my child support on dildos
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
