I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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