If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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