Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
