Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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