the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
