So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
