so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
