just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
