85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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