The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
