You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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