office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
