People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
