Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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