I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
