Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
