Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wish i was in the wii world.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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