Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
