We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
