Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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