So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wear drunk well.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
