Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
