I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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