I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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