I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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