when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
