How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
