im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At least make sure they are 18
Why
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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